I’ve been messing around with you for a few days, but I actually honestly for real for actual know what’s going to happen on the final episode of Lost tonight. Like, I actually know what’s going to happen, so, like, spoilers ahead kwim?

It turns out that it was all a dream, and the sideways world was like a dream within a dream. Did you ever have those? Like, before I woke up this morning, I was having this dream that I was going to see my brother’s band play a show and I was getting on a plane and I was in the line and I was like, “This is weird that I’m getting on a plane to go see my brother’s band play a show, since he lives 10 minutes down the road from me, you know?” but then I woke up and I was like, “That makes more sense, since it was all a dream,” and then I got out of bed and looked in the mirror and I had this enormous rash all over my face and I was like, “Better find something to put on my face,” and I found this tube of, like, Shop-Rite brand A&D but instead of saying “ointment” or “cream” or whatever it said “cheese” and I was like, “I mean, I guess so,” but then I really woke up and was like, “That makes more sense, since they were BOTH all a dream,” although this might still be a dream? Who knows.

But, anyway, before you freak out, like, “COP OUT!” or whatever the kids are saying these days, this is the twist: it was all dreamed by…

Baby Jack. Bye, Lost!