Guys, this is so obvious. Like, it’s so obvious how Lost is going to end. Like, there’ll be this showdown, right, between Jack and the Smokefather, and everyone will be like, “Oh, no! We’re nervous!” And the Smokefather is like, “Check it, meet me behind the Mystery Island Schoolhouse at 3:30 and we’re going to battle for the island once and for all.” And so everyone shows up and it’s, like, a carnival, and they’re all like, “WTF?” Even Jin! Who’s a ghost or whatever, but he was like, “WTF??” too!

And the Smokefather and Jacob are both there and they have their arms around each other and Jacob’s like, “Guess what, guys! Sike! Psych! SYKE! Me and Smokefather aren’t enemies at all!” So, then, like, everyone has fun at the carnival and doesn’t ask ANY QUESTIONS because you don’t look a gift carnival in the mouth. And then everyone goes off arm in arm all happy, like, Mountain Clair and Kate go off together, and Sawyer and Richard go off together, and Sun and Jin’s ghosts float off together, and Sayid and UCP’s ghosts float off together, and Miles and Hugo go off together, and Jacob and MIB go off together, and Desmond’s up on like a hill surveying everything and looking smug and pushing his sunglasses up on his nose and putting on his suit and smiling and taking a dress out of a bag and giving it to Penis Boat (who’s not dead – LOST SHOCKER!), and Ben doesn’t go off with anybody but he’s mostly fine with that, and then the Smokefather comes up to Jack and he’s like, “Do you want to bury the hatchet and let bygones be bygones and will you go out with me?” and Jack is like, “I wasn’t listening to what you said, but you’re smiling, so I’ll smile, too,” and then this happens:

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Bye, Lost! Bye!

(About that sideways thing: They’re not gonna get into that.)