I managed to mix up all my pictures this week and since I don’t remember what order the back and forth stories went, I’m just doing all the island stuff first and all the LA stuff last.

Ugh. I wish someone would blow her up.

Hugo is in the graveyard talking to Libby, who I guess was his gf or almost-gf or maybe-gf? You know how it is with people in their 30s. And then Ilana shows up and is all, “Hey, Hugo, what’s going on, Hugo, you want to go get some dynamite, Hugo? What’s with all these graves, Hugo? Is someone buried here that you knew Hugo? Hey, Hugo, who’s in that grave? Hey, Hugo? Whose body is rotting in that grave?”

After she leaves, this guy shows up, and he’s a ghost, but I don’t know who he is. But, I guess he killed Libby? And Hugo doesn’t like him because of that? But he’s trying to make up for that duh by telling Hugo that he’s a moron for going along with the blow-up-the-plane idea. Who is this guy?

“Hey, guys, are you ready to blow up a plane? Because I’m totes ready and I have twenty pounds of dynamite in this bag and you know what’s so exciting? Hey, guys. You know what’s so exciting?”

Whoops. That’s your duh, Ilana. That’s also Richard’s duh, since he’s the one who’s supposed to handle things like dynamite since he’s the only one who couldn’t die if it exploded in his face.

Jack reacts to Ilana’s death like any doctor would: like a small baby waking up from a nap.

Meanwhile, the Smokefather is widdling and Kate asks him what he’s widdling and he’s like, “I’ll know it when it’s widdled, Kate,” and then Sayid shows up and is like, “I have a package for you?”

And it’s Desmond, who seems like he’s totally cool with having been tied to a tree all night. What’s with this guy?”

So, anyway, after Ilana blew up (yay!), Hugo went through her stuff and then told everyone, “Um, like, yeah, let’s go blow up the plane,” and everyone’s like, “Okay, Hugo,” even though he’s literally shifting his eyes as he’s saying this. And then they get to the dynamite house and Richard’s like, “Okay, guys, you know how before when everyone was like, ‘We have an immortal and lots of mortals, so let’s let one of the mortals handle the explosives?’ and I was like, ‘Yeah, that’s fine, because Jack and I want to take a nap?’ Well, now I’m going to handle the explosives, and also, where did Hugo go?” and Hugo’s like, “I’m in the dynamite building, but now I want everyone to run!” and I’m like, “Not to be mean or anything, but how the hell did Hugo get there before everyone else?”

And then Hugo’s like, “YES! Dynamite house blown up!”

Meanwhile, the Smokefather untied Desmond and takes him for a walk, but then they see that creepy little boy in the jungle who’s now slightly older and Desmond’s like, “Hey, who’s that kid?” and the Smokefather is like, “Doesn’t matter, let’s go,” and Desmond’s like, “But, wait, do you see him?” and the Smokefather’s like, “Yeah, but I don’t want to talk about it, let’s go,” and Desmond’s like, “Do you know him?” and the Smokefather gets totally stepfather about it and is like, “ENOUGH! Let’s go!”

After blowing up all of the dynamite, Richard’s like, “You’re an asshole,” and Hugo’s like, “Takes one to know one,” and Richard’s like, “Jacob told me to blow up the plane,” which is actually not true, I don’t think, but then Hugo’s like, “Well, Jacob’s telling me right now to go find the Smokefather,” which is definitely not true, and then they pick teams. Miles and Ben go with Richard to find more dynamite, and Sun, Jack, and Unfrozen Caveman Pilot go with Hugo.

After they set off, Hugo’s like, “Hey, Jack, I was totes lying about Jacob, so you don’t have to be on my team,” and Jack’s like, “Wait, what team?”

Then Hugo runs into this guy again, who tells him that the whispers in the jungle are the voices of other ghosts trapped on the island, and I guess that was a thing? Like a mystery? That was solved? He’s also, like, “About killing Libby? My bad.”

Meanwhile, the Smokefather brought Desmond to this well, and they have this ridiculously childish conversation where the Smokefather’s like, “Do you know how old this well is?”

And Desmond’s like, “Very old??” and the Smokefather’s like, “Yes, Desmond. Very old.” Then he pushes him into the well. So.

When the Smokefather gets back to the camp, Sayid is like, “Where’s Desmond?” and the Smokefather’s like, “I took care of him. Dismissed,” and Sayid’s like, “Just ’cause I don’t have any feelings doesn’t mean I don’t have any feelings, kwim?”

Then Hugo shows up and tells the Smokefather that he wants everyone to call a truce before he calls his other friends over and everyone’s like, “Hugo, you don’t have friends, har har,” and then he’s like, “Shut up! Come out friends!”

And then Unfrozen Caveman Pilot emerges with Sun and Jack and like, everyone starts cheering. Hey. Um… They’re in a jungle with trees? And UCP was standing behind a tree with a big torch in his hand? And it wasn’t until Hugo was like, “Emerge,” that you could even see illumination from the torch? That’s not a mystery. That’s just garbage.

This guy knows what I’m talking about.

So, back in LA, Hugo is being awarded some kind of humanitarian award at a museum, and they’re showing a slideshow of all of his achievements, including the many locations of his chicken restaurants.

Oh, okay.

Hey, I bet this picture’s, like, really important. Like, I bet people zoomed in on those kids’ shirts and I bet the number of hats means something and I bet those elephants are a symbol of something and I bet the guy in the chicken costume is important. But, you know what picture was a mystery to me?

This one. The mystery is: why is Hugo standing like both of his legs are broken? BOX SQUARED!

Anyway, he receives his dinosaur trophy (yeah, a dinosaur trophy), and his mother is like, “Your troffy is stupid, why don’t you have a gf?” and Hugo’s like, “Girls don’t make passes at guys with fat asses,” and I’m like, “You’ve got money, dude. You may not have a quality gf, but you’ve got to at least be getting some offers.”

So, his mother sets him up on a blind date, and Hugo sits in the restaurant completely obscuring his face with his menu.

His date stood him up, but this totally crazy lady comes over to him. It’s Libby, and she tells him that she’s had some kind of vision of him or whatever and she knows him and she’s surprised he doesn’t know her, and I guess this is that same bs from last week about island soulmates or whatever.

But it turns out she’s actual crazy, and Watson from the Babysitters Club Movie is her doctor, and he takes her back to the hospital.

What is with this guy and the inappropriate cheesy grins? Anyway, the next day, Desmond recognizes Hugo from their flight and is like, “So, tell me, have you had any strange romantic encounters lately?” and Hugo’s like, “Why yes, stranger, I have,” and Desmond’s like, “Go pursue it! Ting!” (That’s the sound his teeth make. Ting!)

So, Hugo goes to the mental hospital and is like, “Dr. Watson, your rec room sucks. Here’s a million dollars. Let me go talk to that crazy lady.”

But it turns out that he didn’t even have to pay anything, because she’s only voluntarily crazy, so they go on a date.

This is what it looks like when Hugo’s kissing you. Like he’s going to murder you. I think that’s why he doesn’t have a gf. Anyway, while he’s kissing her, he has all these flashbacks or whatever to being with her on the island.

Desmond, who’s watching them, approves.

Then he goes to the school where Ben and the Stepfather work and he sits in the parking lot for a while looking like a pervert and then Ben, who also looks like a pervert, comes out to tell Desmond to stop being a pervert and then Desmond is like, “I have a child who will be going to school here,” and Ben asks what the child’s name is and Desmond says Charlie before he can even finish his sentence, and this is not suspicious to Ben so then he’s like, “Great! Can’t wait to meet Charlie!”

Oh, whoops! He doesn’t have a son named Charlie at all. So, wait, I guess you can have these visions if you’re almost killed or if you make out with someone, and Desmond asked his driver last week for a list of all the passengers on the flight with him, so I guess he’s gonna go around making them all have visions, but why doesn’t he just, like, go make out with all of them? Instead of trying to kill cripples? Why doesn’t he just make out with the Stepfather, is what I’m asking. Is he going to visit him in the hospital and make out with him, is what I’m really asking.