High School Reunion is still the best show on television. Just ask my awesome passed out friend.

Just kidding. He’s not my friend. I’m still too much of a liberal-lovin’.

So, this week, Eric experimented with eye liner.

And Jodi still looks like someone, but I can’t figure out who it is.

Onto the standouts of episode 2, season 3, possibly titled “Boning, Too”, possibly called “Weepers & Creepers”, probably called “Colon Cleanse”.

1. Bizarre Sad/Abusive? Love Triangle

So, Joe Basso…

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gets asked on a hall pass by Rachelle. They have a great time. They go swimming, where HSR’s underwater cameras capture this awesome moment.

Plus, Joe reveals how hot he thinks Rachelle is.

And how bad he is at flirting.

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And how unappealing his laugh is.

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But, anyway, they have a great time and come back and talk about what a great time they had, and then Jodi gets all sad and has to talk to someone about her feelings, and once again Lori shows how much she cares by how she chews her gum.

So, it turns out that Jodi and Joe had an awful relationship in high school, where he regularly cheated on her, and she was the butt of many a joke by the other football players. Seeing him with Rachelle brought back all of the sad memories of seeing him with other girls and being a very sad teenager despite her outwardly great life.

So, why does she want to get back together with this guy again? They have a big weepy talk about it and she basically tells him that she’s done with him and she hopes that he treats Rachelle less like crap than he treated Jodi, the end. Anti-climactic and whatever, but at least maybe Jodi will say “Joe Basso” a little less often now.

2. Summergirls vs. The Nerd

Cyndi, the non-classmate, is still railing against the Summergirls for their wanton disregard for her feelings when they were 16, and their total lack of respect for the fact that she doesn’t want to see them in bathing suits despite the fact that she FEELS TOTALLY GOOD ABOUT HERSELF BECAUSE OF THE STRIPPING LIKE SHE DOESN’T EVEN WANT TO LOOK LIKE THEM ANYWAY, OKAY?????

Things got weird in the beginning of the episode when the Summergirls had a rare moment of clarity about how the high school experience differed for each person. They, obvs, had a blast in high school and know that if anyone says they had a bad time, it means they were unpopular. I’m sure that’s true in a lot of cases, and I’m sure most people wouldn’t argue with them. What’s weird is that they tried to open up a dialogue with Cyndi and then got mad at her for taking the bait.

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But, what’s weirder is that Cyndi didn’t just say, “Yeah, high school sucked, and I wished that I had been cute enough for people to like me. But now I’m not 16, so I know that that’s lame.” And then shrugged. Like a normal person. Instead she brought up once again how the Summergirls didn’t accept her, like, how could they have because she wasn’t even in their class, and then complained that they were even at the reunion at all. She had me on her side, and then she opened her mouth. She also later got herself worked up talking to Jodi about how Jodi’s hs experience was amazing and Cyndi’s wasn’t, and Cyndi could have been a cheerleader if they would have had her MAYBE and how if she had been dating Joe Basso, she would have been a happy camper, too. Jodi tried to school her a little bit on the trials of popularity based on a sad, slightly abusive relationship, but I don’t think it stuck in for Cyndi, who was mentally trying to work out which group (Summergirls vs. Cheerleaders) she wants to say she most wanted to be in/was most rejected by.

Later, when the SGs overheard her giving advice to another not-classmate about how if you ignore the SGs’ boobs they will just disappear like the boogie man or something like that, the SGs made her come sit on their bed so they could softly tell her about the concept of moving on from high school and getting over herself.

Word!

Then they did a little secret SGs handshake with a booty bump and made a big sign that read “SUMMERGRILS!!” and posed under it and told the whole house that they were the hottest high school students currently in Hawaii.

3. The Demon Pig’s Colonoscopy

Oh, Demon Pig. Watching women exercise while burping up your third Corona of the early morning. Telling people that you “find [exercise] balls to be the most sexual thing.”

He got a hall pass because the production company thought it would be funny to see a woman dry heaving on a beautiful Hawaiian beach. He asked one of the Summergirls and she decided that it would be a great idea to go on the date with him to possibly cleanse his colon of all the demon shit inside and cure his diarrhea of the mouth. It didn’t work.

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I want to know what the group of people is he wants to put on the island. Gay people? Black people? Gay black people? I bet it’s gay black people. I love how it started out as a one-sided random brag fest and then devolved into a conversation between a rational person and Bill O’Reilly at the end. “Your entitled to your opinion. But now, take it all back. And also, fuck you.” I can’t wait till next week when he definitely calls a black classmate the n-word. The Demon-oscopy didn’t take, apparently.